Frank Luo
October 23, 2017 08:20
READ THIS BEFORE YOU SIGN UP OR READ YOUR CONTRACT VERY CAREFULLY! If you want out, you have to sacrifice a virgin or worse. Hide your kids, hide your wife... hide your friends.
Before I tear this place apart, I will say the gym cost me $100/month, which is a reasonable (albeit expensive) DC price to charge for a pretty nice gym. Good equipment, good facility, qualified trainers, steam room, sauna, etc. in a decently convenient location. However, they trap you in the membership using contractual fine print and the greediest policies I've seen of any gym.
I have NEVER encountered a gym or subscription service in my life that, by contract, charges you after you have cancelled the service and doesn't even ALLOW you to cancel whenever you want to. Pretty sure even sketchy stuff like porn sites let you cancel when you want, they just make it hard.
1. I tried to cancel this membership when I no longer wanted to go as I received great gym benefits from my employer. I was told that I wasn't ALLOWED TO CANCEL, believe it or not. They said that the only acceptable situations in which I can cancel are if I move or if I get a job elsewhere. I had a 1 year obligation under the contract I signed, one they do not advise you on and expect you to read their extensive terms and agreements. Do NOT sign up for this gym unless you are sure you will absolutely go regularly for a whole year. If you are of the 1% of mankind who shuffles through terms and agreements over anything but your housing or car lease, good for you. If you are not, you're effed.
2. Before the year was over, I did, in fact, move. So I tried to cancel again. They charge you a $25 cancellation fee AND said that because I hadn't cancelled close enough to the next billing period, I will get charged for the NEXT MONTH, so another $100. I cancelled my membership 8 whole days before the next billing period. Which raises 2 questions:
1) WHAT THE HELL IS THAT $25 FOR?? I'm paying you $25 to NOT cancel my membership?
2) How is 8 days not a reasonable amount of time for you to process my cancellation and make it final? YOU CAN WALK FROM WASHINGTON DC TO NEW YORK CITY AND BACK IN 8 DAYS and you can't cancel my gym membership?
3) So if I move in the middle of May, I still have to pay $100 for the month of June? Even though I physically cannot go?
3. When I complained, the staff were not friendly, They defended their policy as fervently as a German officer from the 1940s would defend the concept of Aryan dominance or Tom Cruise would defend Scientology. It's set in stone, and they encouraged me to file a dispute, but threatened to send their collections agency after me. Go ahead. I have the money, but I won't indulge them with the satisfaction of victory and enabling them to perpetuate this shady business practice. Take my credit score instead.
Never ever ever. There are other nice gyms out there if that's what you need. Do not come here. They don't even have a pool or a hot tub. Or a monthly free massage. That's the least they could give you for being a black hole for your wallet.
******
The staff's response to my request for an immediate cancellation:
1) Compares the policy to that of a LEASE. Apartments ask you whether you will be resigning the lease. They ask for their keys back. They want to know if they have to look for a new tenant. That is why they want to know in advance. The gym should not be comparing itself to housing. It should compare its policy to that of other gyms.
2) Details the steps to effectively cancel, which are comparable to the process of trying to acquit yourself of a felony.
3) He claims the business policy as "not greedy" because they want to keep their doors open and maintain a budget? Guess who else wants to do that? EVERY BUSINESS. I'm a customer, not an investor. I don't give a rat's a** about your budget and your doors. Chinatown liquors wants to keep their doors open but they don't lock you in their store until you buy a bottle of Cuervo. Survival is not an excuse for greed.